God, I wish I got that! I’m not a fan of the exercise.
Jim works out religiously. He runs and lifts weights daily. He bikes. I’m pretty sure that I could count on one hand the number of days he hasn’t exercised since I met him 15+ years ago. I admire him for that. I also hate him!
I understand the need to exercise. I know the benefits the body gets for being mobile and limber.
I just wish it was a whole lot more fun.
I also get bored pretty quickly.
Yesterday I started a back to the beginning exercise class. This seemed the best choice for the inflammatory arthritis that has come with my Sjogren’s Syndrome and my pocketbook. It was nice. It felt good to sweat. My body is limber. I think I was the youngest one there.
I hope this feeling lasts.
I wish I could go back to 20-year old me and tell me to find some exercise I really like and stick with it. I think 45-year old me would feel better!
But I can’t go back in time, so I will do my best to remain active.
Do you exercise? Why? What do you do? Do you like it or not?
Are you in the mood for a kooky romance with a side of sweetness? Then Love in A Nutshell is the perfect read! Janet Evanovich has paired up with Dorien Kelly to tell you a tale that will make you smile and feel all warm and fuzzy!
Here’s the plot in a…well, a nutshell!
Kate Appleton is jobless and blames Matt Culhane and his skunky beer. So she storms into his brewery/restaurant and demands a job. Kate’s on a downward spiral and refuses to go any lower: divorced, dog-less, and fired from her last two jobs, she is desperate. Matt is desperate too. Someone is sabotaging his business and he doesn’t know who. He hires Kate with the agreement he will pay her a hefty bonus if she can figure out who is behind the sabotage. Kate needs to bonus to keep her parent’s summer home to turn into a bed & breakfast.
No one does kooky romances like Janet Evanovich (and Jennifer Crusie, I have to add her to the list!), and, apparently, Dorien Kelly! Behind the kookiness, however, is a romance just bubbling to be indulged in. You read while cheering Kate and Matt on, hoping they get past all the drama and end up together.
I won’t give anything away, you’ll have to read this for yourself. But I don’t think you’ll be sorry!
I’ve said it before: the hardest part of being a parent is when you have to be the bad guy. Parenting isn’t all fun and laughter. It’s full of doubt and angst. The same question runs through your head every time you make a decision, whether the answer is “yes” or “no”: am I doing the right thing?
The Fall of 2011 was not a pleasant time in KlineLand. Every KlineLand son had issues that seriously impacted all of our lives. We worried. I cried. We emptied our savings account. All because our children each made bad decisions.
I’m not really complaining. Because that’s what parenting is about. It is about sacrifice. Money is meaningless when it means the safety and future of your child is improved.
But what happens when your children aren’t appreciative and instead are carrying attitudes of ingratitude and disrespect? What happens when the attitude of entitlement overshadows everything else?
Parents (good? bad?) are forced to draw a line in the sand and stand firm. They present options, and the adult children can choose to accept the terms or they suffer the consequences.
As a parent, you sit back and ask yourself where this attitude of entitlement came from? What were its roots? What decisions did we make that planted this seed that has created children we are less than proud of? What did we do wrong?
Because we had to have done something wrong. Somewhere we made a wrong turn.
Unfortunately, it’s not easy finding that point in our parenting history. Where? When? What? If I knew, I would share it with you so you don’t make the same mistakes with your children. If I knew, I would make sure we didn’t do the same thing with our youngest.
We tried to lead by example. We’re fairly decent human beings. We’re law abiding. We’re respectful.
Still…it hasn’t been enough.
I’m excited to be teaming up with Eden Fantasys and offering commentary on their site a few times a month. Don’t be alarmed! I won’t be reviewing sex toys–unless something really really catches my fancy! But I will be letting you know about all the cool things offered on the Eden Fantasys website. There are forums where you can read about products, sex and politics, sexual health, and a ton of other things! There’s Sexis magazine that explores–what else!–sex! I’m excited about the photography group!
While exploring the Eden Fantasys forums, I found a thread about Playboy. What do you think about posing for the magazine? There’s even a poll, if you’d like to weigh in, here’s the link. The choices are: “For it/ and would did it if I had the chance, For it/ would not do it though, Not for it but wont hate you if you pose for them, If you pose for them you are helping to [destroy] our morals.”
I don’t really have strong opinions about Playboy. To me it seems pretty harmless. Women pose semi-naked, get paid, and men look. I don’t think the women are coerced into posing. And I pretty much think “Playboy” and “baby doll nightie and pearls” for some reason.
It’s been a lot of years since I’ve even seen the cover of a Playboy magazine or any other porn. I do get curious when a celebrity gets nekkid. Yes, I wanted to see Lindsay Lohan. Not enough to actually pay for the magazine. But if I ran across it on someone’s coffee table, I would have looked.
But my first thoughts these days when I hear about the magazine is the mental picture of Hugh Hefner sitting on a sectional sofa, wearing a satin smoking jacket and ascot, surrounding by buxom blondes. That pretty much kills any association of Playboy and sex for me. I’m not into wrinkled old men in ascots nor buxom blondes.
Actually, I don’t even know if Hefner wears an ascot, but it’s burned into my mind so it must be true. Right?
I definitely don’t agree with the fourth choice. Posing naked in Playboy magazine is not helping destroy morals. It takes a lot more than a semi-nude picture in a magazine to do that.
If I had to pick something in our society that is destroying morals, I would pick politics–from all sides. But that’s best saved for another day…
What do you think? Would you pose if asked? Or do you think Playboy is supporting moral decay in 0ur society?
PS. I ordered from Eden Fantasys for Valentine’s Day and my order was delivered promptly. In fact, I couldn’t believe how quickly it went from the click of the enter key on my end, to getting an order confirmation, to getting the delivery! Go ahead, try it for yourself!
This commentary was provided in exchange for a gift card to Eden Fantasys–the sex toy store.
Last week I was inspired by this article. I talked about helicopter parenting in general.
Now let’s discuss how helicopter parenting would affect me as an employer. Yes, back in the day I hired people for the social service agency where I was executive director. Hiring people isn’t as pleasant as it sounds, especially in an economy when you are swamped with resumes for people not even remotely qualified for the job. I’m sorry, but having an MBA or an EE degree does not make you qualified to be a caseworker.
When I think of parents being involved in the hiring process, it makes me throw up a little in the back of my throat. I can’t imagine juggling resume sorting, interviewing, angsting over who to hire, and then dealing with helicopter parents! Of course you believe your child is appropriate for the job! He’s your child!
Unfortunately, you have no idea what any company is looking for or the type of person who will fit into the existing company culture.
This part of the article worries me the most:
“You don’t want to block the energy of the parent,” says Neil Howe, who studies and consults on generational trends for the company LifeCourse Associates. “It’s like jujitsu. You just want to channel it in a certain direction.”
Howe says boomers are incredibly close to their children, and in his opinion, that’s a good thing.
Besides, Howe says, there’s little point in resisting engaged parents. School teachers initially tried to push back against helicopter parents a decade ago, Howe notes, but ultimately learned it was counterproductive.
“Every time a teacher [resisted], that parent, who was so attached to their kid, would become that teacher’s worst enemy,” Howe says.
Today, Howe says, many schools now reach out proactively to parents, going so far as to offer online homework programs that allow parents to monitor a child’s progress. Colleges have also adapted, he notes, some even creating an Office of Parent Relations.
It bothers me because 1) I think parents are over-involved in school and 2) the working environment is completely different that the educational one. Being involved in school is one thing; parents are responsible for their children until they are legally adults. Parents have the ability to guide their children by interacting with school personnel. Once the child turns 18 there really needs to be independence.
The last thing I was looking for in an employee was lack of independence. Most jobs I’ve had have required me to make some decisions on my own to properly complete the job. If I had constantly gone to my supervisor with every decision, I don’t believe I would have kept that job for long.
As parents, our first instinct is to remain safe. We’ve been through the phase of life where the unexpected rules. It’s part of maturing. But sometimes, young people need to be unsafe. I don’t mean physically unsafe, I mean making decisions than aren’t going to lead to a known outcome.
Young people are young enough to make mistakes. Taking the wrong job isn’t the worst mistake they can make. Sometimes taking the “wrong” job ends up being the best decision ever made. Sometimes taking the wrong job means you learn something about yourself and how you want to spend your life.
Parents should encourage their children to make mistakes, blaze new trails, and learn who they are for themselves. We can make suggestions (e.g., go to college, don’t get married at 18, etc.). But for every suggestion, there are examples of people who made those choices and thrived.
Parents need to recognize that this need for control is really a need to keep our families safe and intact. But sometimes the best thing is to let go and see how far our children go. I have a feeling some of them are going to soar…
Karen Robards’ latest novel Sleepwalker starts with a bang and continues racing until the very end.
Micayla “Mick” Lange watched her mother die when she was 11 years old and has suffered from sleepwalking ever since. Fast forward to New Year’s Eve when she’s all grown up and the sleepwalking turns into a serious problem. While house sitting for her “uncle” Nicco, she finds herself awake and alone on the first floor after a sleepwalking incident. While getting her bearings, she hears strange noises. Shifting into her cop persona, she discovers that Uncle Nicco is being robbed.
She confronts the two thieves, finding them with suitcases of money, and incriminating pictures of Uncle Nicco committing a local crime. Faced with the reality that Uncle Nicco isn’t the pleasant businessman she thought and is probably the crime boss he’s rumored to be, Mick realizes she isn’t safe.
As Uncle Nicco’s security team slips in, Mick reluctantly aligns herself with the thieves and lets herself be dragged into a roaring snowstorm on a frigidly cold Michigan New Year’s Eve. The two thieves get separated, leaving her alone with Jason Davis. The handsome, enigmatic thief makes it hard to remember that she’s a cop.
I was pondering the sanity of continuing to read this novel when I was confronted with one of the characters saying, “true that.” Sorry, but that kind of slang is dated and doesn’t belong in a novel. I’m glad I got past my distaste and continued reading though. I’ll forgive Robards for that slip of trying to be cool!
I don’t know how she does it, but Robard’s male characters are always hot and worthy of the loyalty they earn from the female protagonist. The protagonist is always gorgeous, but not perfect, which makes her likable.
Sitting here in freezing Illinois, the descriptions of the winter-weather flight from their pursuers was uncomfortable. I swear my clothes felt snow-damp and frozen as I was reading. I guess that shows what a great writer Robards is, though.
If you like romantic suspense, this is a book for you!
Seriously!? Seriously…
I came across this article and I’m more than a little frightened for the future of our children and our country. Honestly, parents, you are doing no one any good by hovering.
I have strong feelings about parents’ roles in their children’s lived outside of the home. I believe parents are entirely too involved and that has led to this generation of kids who refuse to grow up.
As a mother, I’ve been shocked at the level of involvement in school, sports, and extra curricular activities by parents.
If you want to be involved in your child’s education and that means you are at the school for several hours each and every day, you might consider home schooling. This wouldn’t be so alarming, except some parents seem to do it more for what they can manage to get for their kids. Is it a coincidence that the kids of the most involved moms are the ones with the most accolades?
Once schools start rewarding the children of the parents who are more involved than the parents who work, have younger children at home, or who do not wish to be involved, they’ve changed education into a popularity contest. It’s not. It’s education.
If you sign your kid up for sports and attend each and every practice and game, loudly coaching from the sidelines, please consider coaching a team yourself. Little league associations are always looking for volunteer coaches. Yes, volunteers. Which is why when your child’s coach plays by the rules (which you should at least have skimmed) and carefully plans his games, you should be respectful.
Do you have to go to every practice and game? Sports are for kids. Let them go and play, without their parents hovering. Go to a few games, show interest, but let them have some independence.
I find it disconcerting that the stands at the high school football games are filled with parents rather than high school students. Those high school students should be cheering on their school’s athletes. Yes, I’ve attended a lot of games for the boys. For me, it’s a social outing. I’m not the mom screaming from the stands. I don’t want to walk across the field with my player at Homecoming. I am not living my life vicariously through the lives of my children. I already attended high school and lived through that angst. I don’t want to do it again!
Parents are high jacking their children’s lives and it’s very sad. Mothers of my generation have turned meddling into an art form. Ladies, you don’t have to feel guilty for being a stay-at-home mom. It’s okay. You don’t need to prove your worth by hovering and sucking the life and fun out of being a kid. Yes, we’ve given up a lot to stay home with out kids–extra income, time out of the workplace, not using educations we worked so hard for.
There are people who look at those of us who are staying home with school-aged kids as lazy and unproductive. But we aren’t. We recognize that a lot of things can (and do!) go wrong in those after school hours. We understand that most employers don’t take kindly to sick kids and missed work days to take care of them. We’re being proactive, hopefully preventing bad things before they happen.
We really can be good mothers without hovering. We need to trust ourselves enough to let our children go…
Since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, I thought I would make some suggestions for purchasing just the right present for the woman in your life. Since I know most about married women with children, I will tailor my suggestions to this population. Maybe a young, single woman will chime in with some advice for her demographic!
Grown women don’t need stuffed animals. Not even as a cute present. Stuffed animals are clutter and are dust magnets. Eventually they require work when they need to be disposed of.
Grown women don’t want flowers. We know how much they cost. You can use that money to buy us something we really want: something for our hobbies (for me, yarn or Itunes gift cards), a massage, a manicure. Flowers are disposable and if we don’t pay attention to them they get eaten by pets and rot on the countertop.
Shaped stones are for children. Honestly, if you are looking at a pair of heart-shaped diamonds as a present, step back. Unless your wife–the mother of your children–has specifically said she would love a pair of Mickey Mouse shaped diamonds, stick with a classic cut. Emerald cuts are nice. Square is good.
Unless it is a new iObject, electronics are again out, unless specifically requested/hinted. Kitchen appliances are not presents, no matter how much she’s been groaning about needing a new mixer. Unless you’re getting her a state-of-the-art KitchenAid, don’t bother. Vacuums are never presents. They are a household necessity. Although, a craft electronic might be acceptable if your lady is into that. For example, a Cricut would be appreciated.
Self-improvement gifts are not appropriate. Even if she’s been moaning and groaning about getting back to the gym, do not fall into this trap unless she specifically asks for a gym membership. That means personal training sessions and thigh masters are also out.
Sexy gifts are great ideas. But if you spring for the lingerie, make damn sure it’s in her size. Look in her drawers, find something she regularly wears, check the size, and approach the ladies at Victoria’s Secret with that information. Unless she’s plus-sized, because nothing at VS is going to fit. Head to a store that has plus-sized lingerie. No one needs to be reminded that they will never fit into the sexy lingerie you got them.
Chocolate is good. Cora Lee Toffee is perfect. High quality, dark chocolate is perfect. That stuff someone is selling for their kids at work for $1 a bar is not good. A $2 box of chocolate from the drug store with a cartoon character on the front is not good.
Hand-made anything will earn you big points. Are you a writer, how about a love letter? A musician, how about a song? A craftsman, how about a special piece just for her? Even a well-thought hand-made card will earn extra credit points.
Of course, the most perfect presents of all are your actions and words day by day. Tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Let her know you would do it all over again. Tell her you’re proud of her and of your family.
I hope this helps! If I missed something, ladies speak up! Men, I want to know if you took my advice and it was your best Valentine’s Day ever!
