Archive for the ‘angst’ Category
Yes, you read that right.
Chrystal Bougon recognized a need. She saw that women bigger than a Victoria’s Secret model needed and wanted lingerie. So she opened a shop. In fact, her Curvy Girl Lingerie is the second brick and mortar plus-sized lingerie store in the United States, located in San Jose, California. She also sells on the internet. Chrystal also started a Curvy Girl Facebook page. When a customer asked to post a picture of herself, a real woman, wearing some of the lingerie she had purchased, Chrystal thought this sounded like a great idea.
I think any woman, no matter her size, knows what a big deal it is for a woman to post a picture of herself in lingerie. It takes a hell of a lot of moxie. Chrystal let women have a safe place. Because they looked good. They felt good. They’re beautiful and other women want to see them. They want to be inspired by women like themselves, maybe slip on a teddy at home. Maybe even have a few pictures taken of themselves.
It’s empowering for people to see people who look like themselves. Doesn’t matter who or what you are, you want to be normalized. And that’s what Chrystal did. That’s a good thing.
Until the Wicked Witch stepped in and decided that Chrystal was single-handedly contributing to the Ohmigoddeathfat Obesity Epidemic by letting this happen. On her business’ Facebook page. Where business customers sought her out to become fans. Where customers posted pictures. Where no one invited the Wicked Witch to visit, not even once.
I refuse to name the Wicked Witch (aka WW) or her nicknames. She has gotten more than enough publicity from her tantrums and childish behavior. The media fall all over themselves because she’s one of the pretty people that they love having before their cameras. Which doesn’t make what she says worth listening to.
WW went on her Facebook page and posted why obese people should not be allowed to exist. Sure, she sugar-coated it with words of health and fitness. But she makes such blanket claims that she has nothing to back them up. Bottom line: WW would like all obese people to hide away from her sight until they look like her. Or until they are only thirty or forty pounds overweight.
Someone reported WW’s post as hate speech and she was banned from Facebook for a few days. Apparently, Facebook is very very very very important to her because she fell apart. And called her publicist. Who called a few people. And then the WW started making the media merry-go-round.
One news show showed her bopping around her kitchen, perfectly coiffed, whipping up breakfast for her children. Then showed her exercising in the park with other fit mothers, each flinging a toddler about as exercise equipment. She kept repeating, “Anyone can do it! Like I do.”
Unless you work and can’t go to a mom and tot group in the middle of the day.
Unless you don’t have access to a safe outdoor workout space.
Unless you don’t have a healthy child.
Unless you are not healthy.
Unless you don’t want to work out with your child and prefer reading or drawing or looking at the clouds or…
According to WW, however, those are just excuses and you need to get over yourself.
CNN invited Chrystal Bougon and WW on for a sit-down. Which WW dominated with her non-facts. She managed to let everyone know they if they are ready to fix themselves she’s got a way to help them and they can contact her. Nice push for her business, right? And the hosts fell all over her. Chrystal was calm, cool, and collected, saying wise things when allowed. Somehow her video feed was lost, while we were all left with WW’s sneering duck-lip gasp, “you know, I saw women not just 30 or 40 pounds overweight but…obese…[grimace]…morbidly obese [shudder]…”
The hosts never once challenged one of WW’s “facts” or any of the things she was spouting as truths. In fact, the real issue shouldn’t have been the War on Fat at all, but the fact that Fat People Bother the WW and The Media Care. Because the WW can’t look at any of the women posting photos of themselves on the Curvy Girl Facebook page and know whether or not they work out. She cannot look at a photograph of a Victoria’s Secret model and know if she is metabolically healthy. Heck, are we even so sure WW is healthy?
Once again, shame on the media for being such a shoddy group of people. Why would someone even pick up this story? Surely people are getting kicked off of Facebook hourly. There wasn’t a better reason to cover? The good thing is I hope Curvy Girl Lingerie gets some great sales from WW’s tantrum.
All Chrystal wants to do is give a safe space for regular women to be seen. Women who have scars, stretch marks, sagging, excess skin, weight…whatever. There’s no airbrushing or photoshopping. There’s no body shaming or snarking. There’s nothing but camaraderie for women who have lived life and are still living life without the fear of eating a cookie or missing a workout. By the way, she never even calls them curvy…just regular…like you…like me…like my neighbor…like my best friend…
If Facebook was correct, Thanksgiving shopping was the line being drawn in the sand between the moral and the immoral this holiday season. Apparently, no true-blue, flag-loving, family-adoring, mother-respecting, apple pie-eating, Chevrolet-driving, baseball-playing, red-blooded American would be caught dead shopping on Thanksgiving. Retail establishments were completely, absolutely evil for even daring to make their employees work on this sacred of all family days.
I’ve written before about shopping on Thanksgiving in the olden days. So I’m not shocked by this shopping behavior. The rest of you are.
Meme after meme followed on Facebook. People posted rant after rant. There were calls to boycott. People were really angry.
But these same people stopped at the gas station on the way to Aunt Martha’s for dinner.
Aunt Martha sent Uncle Maury to the market for the forgotten rolls and the much-needed bottle of vodka (Aunt Becky decided to come after all).
Joey and Kendra popped by Starbucks for tall lattes and scones because Aunt Martha’s food isn’t the best.
Aunt Becky was coming to dinner after the big parade. Last year she missed the Underdog balloon and it isn’t ever happening again.
Uncle Rick is at the football game. He can’t stop telling anyone that the Detroit Lions have played over 70 games on Thanksgiving!
All of Martha and Maury’s guests had to stop at Walgreen’s for antacids on the way home.
Everyone seems to have forgotten that the world doesn’t shut down for holidays. Some people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Some people don’t have families. Some people eat Thanksgiving lunch. Some eat mid afternoon.
There are people cleaning toilets, sweeping streets, selling coffee and gas. There are football players and cheerleaders, bands, and floats. There are restaurants cooking for those who aren’t cooking for themselves.
It always amuses me when we pick such narrow battles. It’s easy to point our fingers at the people doing something we won’t, while ignoring our similar, yet slightly different behavior. However, getting coffee at Starbucks means someone is working just like if someone shops at KMart or Walmart. It’s just a different price point.
Possibly the worst parenting book ever written, To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl, might also be the easiest way for unsuspecting Christian parents to find themselves facing prison time. That is what is happening in Washington state to Larry and Carri Williams who were sentenced to maximum sentences for murder after being found guilty of starving and beating their adopted daughter.
Ignore the happy child smiling and playing carefree on that cover of To Train Up A Child. Contained within the covers of that horrific tome are the following parenting tips like these (taken from the article quoted above):
- Using plastic tubing to beat children, since it is “too light to cause damage to the muscle or the bone”
- Wearing the plastic tubing around the parent’s neck as a constant reminder to obey
- “Swatting” babies as young as six months old with instruments such as “a 12-inch willowy branch,” thinner plastic tubing or a wooden spoon
- “Blanket training” babies by hitting them with an instrument if they try to crawl off a blanket on the floor
- Beating older children with rulers, paddles, belts and larger tree branches
- “Training” children with pain before they even disobey, in order to teach total obedience
- Giving cold water baths, putting children outside in cold weather and withholding meals as discipline
- Hosing off children who have potty training accidents
- Inflicting punishment until a child is “without breath to complain
I’m not going to tell you whether you should spank your child or not. But I am going to strongly suggest that sitting your six-month old baby on a blanket and smacking him if he moves off it is a big red sign of a sadistic and abusive personality. That is not normal parenting. That is abnormal control.
Parenting means we get our children to behave well at home and in public and come into adulthood as reasonably well-functioning adults. It is not to create meek and submissive creatures who respond to our every command and bidding. How would they exist? How would they leave? How would they function on their own?
Baths with cold water on purpose, withholding food, and putting kids outside in the cold are methods of torture, not parenting. If you find yourself doing any of these things, seek help immediately. There are people and places who will help you.
The sad thing is that the Pearls are making millions of dollars selling this “Christian” parenting book that advocates child abuse. If we’ve learned nothing of late, it is that “Christian” is often just another adjective meant to deceive us into believing that something bad is really good. Maybe true and good Christians should put an end to this book once and for all, just to save their good name.
What can you do right now? Sign this petition, asking Amazon to stop carrying books of this type, cutting out one source of income for the Pearls. Maybe other sales venues will follow!
It’s hard being a fat parent. Because people automatically assume you have no idea how to feed your kid a healthy diet. They assume you’re constantly getting dinner at the drive thrus of the local fast food restaurants and tossing candy bars into the back seat while driving for ice cream. Of course, the food at home is no better with chips and soda being the norm, natch. I know, it’s happened to me. More than once.
Which has turned me into The Good Fatty. The Good Fatty is the fat person who does her best to let everyone around her know that while she might be fat, she does her best to be healthy. Very few processed foods in my house! Chips and soda are rare treats! Vegetables at every meal! Nothing deep fried ever!
It’s exhausting. That’s why I was so relieved to read the Fat Nutritionist’s post about Real Food. We sure can be judgy about food. And we need to stop. Because there are very real reasons why people choose the foods they choose and it’s none of our business. It’s really not.
Every day I have a McDonald’s iced tea. I love their iced tea. Another confession: I love egg McMuffins too. But every day I carry that McDonald’s cup into my house, I imagine the neighbors are looking out their windows wondering why the fat lady is eating at McDonald’s so much. Even though, logically, I know they are worried about a million other things than me.
We’ve just gone a little crazy in this country about our food judgments. Friends, family, strangers, restaurant personnel…no one feels exempt from commenting on another person’s food choices. It’s got to stop. Food has become a moral barometer and it shouldn’t be.
Our lives are stressful enough. We don’t need to add another facet with food stress. Food should be enjoyed. It should be easy when we need it to be and complicated when we have the time. We should have what we want to eat when we want it. Yup, even McDonald’s.
Let’s all take a vow, especially with the holidays coming: we’ll worry about the things on our own plates and the plates of our kids without passing judgement on anyone else. And we won’t stress if we need to take a short cut. Frozen pizzas and boxed macaroni and cheese are just the antidote to life’s stress, right?!
I’m not a fan of Kmart. I couldn’t tell you in 100 words or less why that is. But I feel really sorry for them right now, and just might go shop there to show some solidarity against the absolutely insane American consumer.
Suddenly, shopping on Thanksgiving is something bad. Since Kmart answered the cry of the consumer and decided to stay open 41 hours straight on Thanksgiving, the consumer has turned around and called the retailer out on being “unfamily.” But isn’t that exactly what consumers want? Don’t you want to shop on Thanksgiving?
Or is it more joyful to shop at midnight when retail employees should be snug in their beds but you want to be snagging the latest and greatest Mickey Mouse waffle maker? You need one of the four available $20 DVD players so you’ll stand in line until the store opens at three in the morning?
Does the American consumer not understand that there are employees working all these insane hours? Suddenly some hours are more insane than others?!
I’ve never understood middle of the night shopping. Thanksgiving is usually cold here in the Midwest. So who wants to go out in the cold and the dark to shop?! There is nothing out there that I want or need so badly that I need to warm up the car and dress to trek to a store to get.
Plus, shopping on Thanksgiving has not always been taboo. That’s what we did on Thanksgiving when I grew up in Kansas. Dad and Grandpa would watch football. I’d go shopping with the other women in the family. We weren’t looking for bargains. We were passing time. But we went during regular store hours, not when people should be sleeping.
Americans are a corporate retailers wet dream. We are like lemmings running for bargains that aren’t really bargains. We actually believe that things will be the cheapest they will ever be on Black Friday (aka the day after Thanksgiving). We have bought into the mantra, “more, I need more” and chant it as we grab Made-In-Some-Foreign-Country-By-Tiny-Children-For-Pennies schlock piled high in the aisles of the local mall’s anchor stores.
There’s got to be better ways to celebrate the holidays…
Last week I addressed a letter that may or may not have been intended for the neighborhood children. I’ve heard rumors that the letter was done as a “joke” by a radio station. Yeah. Real Funny.
Honestly, I thought calling the neighborhood kids moderately obese was dastardly. I mean, who does something like that on a holiday that is built on consuming treats? No one’s advertising bananas and apples as the ideal Halloween treat! Kit Kats. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Candy, candy, candy!
How would you feel if your kid came home with candy, but attached to a graphic anti-abortion pamphlet? That happened in New Mexico. I would be furious if this happened in my neighborhood. Halloween is not the time to share your beliefs about reproductive rights. Do that with your adult peers. Kids want treats, not political rantings.
(Although if this did happen in my neighborhood I might be forced to counter it with condoms and the morning after pill going out with the candy.)
What if you attended the Halloween costume parade and saw a child from the school dressed as a klansman? Yes, as a member of the KKK. It happened in Virginia. Lordy, kids at the neighborhood school nearby aren’t even allowed to wear masks, much less hoods. Klansman hoods.
Originally I was hoping the child had no idea why he was dressing up as a white witch. But after reading quotes made by his mother, I’m sure he’s aware of what his costume represents. I imagine he’s a bully. Here’s what Mom has to say, according to the referenced article:
Jessica Black of Craigsville told WHSV in Virginia that there’s nothing wrong with the costume or the Ku Klux Klan. “It’s suppose to be white with white. Black with black. Man with woman and all of that.”
That’s one little boy I don’t want coming over for a play date!
I say it over and over again that adults are ruining childhood for our kids. These things just further fuel my argument.
I grabbed this image from the new tumbler, We Don’t Need An Excuse. Read this. Process this.
Do you know what a total and complete asshat douche canoe someone has to be to pass this out at Halloween?!
For god’s sake, turn off your porch light and hide in the dark. But don’t be a jerk to the neighbor kids. Yeah, you’re probably the one who keeps the balls when they roll into your yard and yells when someone steps on your grass. So it’s not like you’ll be missed or anything at the block party.
If you are someone who feels that this is the right thing to do I have a few questions:
1) What, exactly, is moderate obesity? Do you have a scale hidden under the welcome mat? Is this something that can be seen with the naked eye?
2) When did sugar and treats become completely off limits? Are you so sure that I, as a parent, need your input into my child’s diet?
3) Who appointed you king or queen of this neighborhood?
4) What happens if my kid is fat? Maybe it’s not as terrible as you’ve been led to believe.
I’m not linking to the links that answer some of these questions. Check out these bloggers, who do some great work with the science behind the madness instead.
And eat a Snickers…you’re not acting right!
Instead, I laid on a metal table, while they moved an xray machine around trying to find the perfect opening to do the puncture. This is called a lumbar puncture (LP) with fluoroscopy. And it sounds so much better than a blind lumbar puncture where they just poke the needle around until they found an opening.
I was lucky because everything went well. I didn’t even get the headache everyone told me I would have. I did have to lie around on my back all day. And as fun as that might sound, it was tedious!
Why did I have this done? Because I’ve had endless headaches all summer long. Giant, killer, annoying headaches. And vision changes. And hearing changes.
Which lead to a doctor visit which led to an MRI and an ophthalmologist visit which led to a neurologist visit which led to the LP. You know how these things spin out of control.
I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Probably another genetic thing. The women in my family are genetically weak for some reason. We have been gifted with all sorts of issues–some quite rare. I should find out more information by the end of the week.
Since I’ve been playing Dr. Google (that’s what the doctor who did the procedure yesterday called it) I have a list of things that this can be. Some are mild. Some are serious. Some I’m not even sure exist but I’ve convinced myself they do. I haven’t been all that far off on my self-diagnosis attempts in the past; I usually get something in the ball park when I do it on my own. It’s a game I play with my internist.
I’m waffling between joy because the headaches have gotten better with the cooler weather to pure terror at dying soon. Yeah, that’s how my mind works.
Of course, this is all wasted energy because I have no idea what is wrong with me! Luckily I am aware of that and can rein myself in pretty quickly when I go down the wrong path.
Hopefully I’ll get an answer soon and life will go on. After multiple surgeries (Aaron and Jim) this is just an extra thing I don’t need or want. Meanwhile, I’ll just keep on blogging.
Many months ago, the owner of Papa John’s Pizza announced he would be doing what he could to prevent his employees from getting insurance through their employer. He didn’t agree with the new provisions of the Affordable Healthcare Act. (To be fair, I will include this link to a piece written by Papa John’s creator and CEO explaining how his words were manipulated. I’d like to point out that the date was after President Obama won the election and the Affordable Healthcare Act was going to exist.) Now his words are coming back to haunt him and his brand’s reputation is taking a hit.
I understand the United States is a capitalist society. We all are taught we want more: things, money, things… But what happens when the people who already have a lot do what they can to keep it from those who have very little?
That’s where we get the main difference between Republicans and Democrats. Republicans look at the rich owners and think, “Yahoo! That will be me one day! Money! Money! Money!” While Democrats look at the underlings making minimum wage or slightly more and think, “There, but for the grace of God go I. And I’d better help that little guy because that’s why I’m here.”
I even understand the mentality for Papa John (may I call you Papa John?) to stiff someone to keep raking in the big bucks. But maybe he (and the other business owners who voiced similar plans to crap all over employees) shouldn’t have been so vocal about it. Seems like that’s something you do in the super secret boardroom where no one talks about what goes on. You really don’t want to do this when it comes out that providing employee benefits costs you less then a dime a pizza.
But you did it. You went and said it. Now your brand is shot. I haven’t eaten at Papa John’s in ages. Since I heard about Papa John’s whining. I love Papa John’s pizza, but I will do without before I will add a single penny to the pockets of someone who has so little empathy.
The list of businesses I refuse to support grows steadily as business people make their intentions known. I fell in love with Elizabeth Warren for her thoughts about this.
You see, Papa John, you didn’t get to be a big business pizza man without the people under you. There’s the people making the pizzas, the people taking the orders, the people cleaning the stores…those are the people doing the work for you. Those are the people earning the money for you.
And you want to keep them from having health insurance. That sucks.
(In the article I referenced at the beginning, the owner of Applebee’s was also discussed. However, all the Applebee’s nearby have closed. Apparently, a franchise owner has suffered financial problems.)
There’s a new television show coming to TVLand in December called Kirstie, starring Kirstie Alley. They are showing trailers repeatedly now, trying to pull in viewers. In it a young man approaches Alley’s character on the street and says he thinks he might be the son she gave up for adoption 26 years earlier. Her response? To pepper spray him.
The people at TVLand and those associated with this show–which I refuse to link to because it offends me that much–think pepper spraying an adoptee is high comedy.
You can’t fault TVLand for thinking adoption is some fun game. Adoption has been comedy fodder for ages. Of course, all birth mothers are portrayed as slutty idiots who pee in sinks, clearly incapable of caring for a house plant, much less a child. And adoptees are presented as bungling fools who barely existed before discovering their birth mother.
This is a cop out. It’s easy to make a joke out of something that is hard and heart-wrenching for people.
Birth moms are women just like you. Or like your mother, sister, aunt… They struggle with the idea of giving up a child. And once they do, they never stop thinking about them. Wondering if their child is well-loved, taken care of, adored. Of course there are birth moms who don’t want to be reunited with their child, but I highly doubt many are carrying mace in their purses in case their child shows up.
Adoptees also struggle with the idea of reuniting. Will it be a good idea? Will I be rejected? Who will I look like? This is something an adoptee has struggled with since they day they learned they were adopted. Being pepper sprayed by a diva would be a crushing blow.
I watch TVLand a lot because of reruns of shows I do like. But I’ve gotten leery of the shows they are creating. Last season I was appalled during an episode of The Soul Man (another original show) when they used every ethnic stereotype in a show dealing with a family’s Asian foster child. I guess I expected a show about black preachers to be less offensive.
I know I can’t change the entertainment world. But I can control what is viewed in my home. Right now Kirstie is off the air.