Archive for the ‘the truth’ Category

So how am I doing on the path of Health At Every Size? Size acceptance? Self love?

If you had asked me a few months ago I would have said I’m doing fine…just a little concerned about some weight gain. Because isn’t weight gain always a concern?! Weight has been a concern since childhood.

Then I lost the scale. And I was frantic. I knew it was in the bedroom somewhere. Jim had cleaned out under the bed and didn’t replace everything exactly as it was. So the scale was lost somewhere under there with the containers of gift wrap and Jim’s workout clothes.

I told Jim he had to find it. “Because if I don’t have the scale how do I know whether to hate myself?”

I laughed. I always laugh and make jokes. Even when I don’t feel like it. Better to laugh at myself or the situation than let someone do it first or to feel uncomfortable.

But something inside me stopped because I knew I wasn’t joking. How can I exist without knowing the exact number on the scale on any given day?!

Hate myself. Did I really hate myself because of a number? On a scale? Was one pound either way worth hateful feelings? Would I hate my family or friends for the number on the scale? Of course not! Their numbers don’t matter! But mine…

I thought I was farther along in the HAES journey. I thought I was long passed the scale-as-judge phase. But I wasn’t. I had started weighing myself again because of the weight gain. My rheumatologist told me to watch the weight. My internist suggested weight loss surgery. Of course my mind has been on the scale! That damn number…

I’m trying to get over the number. I’m trying not to weigh myself. I want to throw away the scale…but I can’t. I don’t know why I’m hanging on to it.

That’s where I am. Stuck trying to go beyond the scale but still watching over my shoulder to make sure I don’t get to far away from it. I understand that this is something a lot of people experience. I’ve been told it’s hard to get over the years and years of accumulated messages about weight loss and death fat. Still, I thought I was further along…

I wasn’t even going to write about this. I thought no one needed to hear my whining. Then I saw Golda Poretsky’s TED Talk on weight. It inspired me to share my stumble. Just in case any of you are feeling the same way.

Because we really are more than a number on a scale. We really are people and not just bodies. It really is inside that matters. And weight does not equal health.

If you’re struggling, talk to me. If you’re not struggling any more, talk to me. If you don’t think you’re gorgeous, talk to me–because you are dammit!

 

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching. And the question on everyone’s mind in KlineLand is, “what do you want?!”

It’s so hard this year because I want…nothing, really. World peace. Cliche, I know, but I mean it. A nice family dinner with laughter and teasing. One week without angst of any kind.

See, I’m a simple girl!

Plus I’ve been trying to do that less-is-more life style. Which my new found love of card making–yes, again!–isn’t helping. But I don’t want things…

Yesterday I finally used one of the two gift certificates for massages I got for last year on Mother’s Day and my birthday. This year they are the same day. It was so nice and relaxing. Plus the masseuse (Carrie at the Elements Massage in Bloomingdale) was fun. I laughed and enjoyed the conversation while getting a massage. Perfect day.

This year I will be 47 years old–oops, I mean something with a 9 in it…29!–and I have everything I want. Or I just buy it when I want it. Except for my convertible. I’m still waiting for that. With the current sun rash I have, the desire to own a convertible seems pretty impractical. I bet my dermatologist would be in heaven if I get one though. A convertible…not another rash. Well, he would appreciate the rash.

Maybe I should just ask for full-body sun protection. That would save all of us from the pain of my complaining…

Lately, I’ve been caught up believing that everyone but me has The Perfect Family. While my family is inundated with problems and angst, other parents tweet their children’s unending stream of age-advanced adorable chatter. Other parents let us know that each of their children has an iPhone and an iPod…and they’re all under 10. The news features stories about tweens who raise funds for deadly illnesses.

Intellectually, I know there is no perfect family. They don’t exist. Each and every family is plagued with something negative. It’s how life works.

Some parents adore their children and abhor each other. Some parents aren’t really happy being parents. Some couples want children and don’t have any. Some families have great relationships with each other, but are forced to live in a car.

That’s why I think bloggers should have an absolute truth day. Weekly–okay monthly–we should vow to share something negative that happened in our homes and how we handled it. We could even open it up for suggestions how others would have handled it.

But I know that won’t happen. For the same reason I enjoy a movie or a book with a happy ending; because I don’t want to focus on the negative or it’s aftermath.

Maybe this is why comedians are often the unhappiest of people. At least that’s the word on the street. They’ve just learned to hide the bad by covering it up with laughter.

But if anyone thinks an absolute truth day would be helpful, leave a comment and I’ll get back to you. Maybe sometimes it’s just right to address the bad along with the good. Because that’s how life works.

 

Thanks to my friend Jan, I am spending a lot of time thinking about, researching, and trying to understand the Jodi Arias murder trial.

Jodi Arias is accused of stabbing her boyfriend Travis Alexander 29 times (including slitting his throat) and shooting him. Each evening, Nancy Grace analyzes the day’s trial activity. And I’m hooked.

The trial has everything a bad Lifetime Movie would have. The comely accused murderer who has assumed a mousy demeanor to cover up her sexuality. But she has no problem discussing her quite…active…sex life with Alexander. Their sex life included anal sex, bondage, naked pictures, role playing…and now it includes accusations of pedophilia, rape, and everything else.

At the center of Arias’ defense is her claim that while she remembers everything leading up to and following the murderous attack, but the entire murder is gone from her mind. Of course, this is her third version of what happened. Earlier she claimed to not have been with Alexander the day he was murdered or that ninjas (one male, one female) broke into the house and killed him, sparing her. I am not lying about the ninja defense…

However, Alexander’s friends were quick to point out Arias as a suspect because she wasn’t the most stable of his ex-girlfriends. They allege stalking, tire slashing, and other activities of a less than stable spurned lover. According to them, she was angry that Alexander chose to take another woman on a trip to Mexico which was taking place just days after his death. Arias doesn’t seem to have relished to role of booty call participant.

There are so many questions about the death of Alexander, mostly centered around Arias’ manipulation of law enforcement, prosecutors, and the members of the jury. There are enough twists and turns to completely fill the 2-hour Lifetime Movie that will ultimately be made of her case. For example:

• do devout Mormons have such tawdry sex lives?
• is the fact that the caliber of gun used to murder Alexander (which has never been located) is the same as the gun that was stolen from Arias’ grandparents really a coincidence?
• was there really a logical explanation for why she was driving around with multiple five-gallon containers in her trunk of her rental car?
• why does a 5’6″ woman want to manipulate the jury into thinking she’s much shorter? To convince them she’s to delicate to have attacked the fit Alexander so savagely?
• was Arias so completely obsessed with Alexander that she came to his home on the day of the murder with malice on her mind? Or was she so angry she snapped?

I’ve gone over crime scene and autopsy files. I’ve watched testimony. I am obsessed.

How about you? Any thoughts on the trial?

I found this video and we all need to watch it. Enjoy!

I’ve saved the best for last. Joe Walsh is running in my very own district here in Illinois against Tammy Duckworth. I had an opportunity to meet Duckworth last spring and she earned my vote. She didn’t have to yell at me or insult anyone to do so, either.

I thought Walsh was his own special breed of politician because of his caustic manner and outspoken ways. He has made it clear that he has absolutely no desire to play nice with anyone. Which makes it really really hard to be an effective representative in politics.

What surprises me is the amount of support Walsh seems to have in my area. His signs dot lawns and empty lots along busy streets. Elderly people wear name tags declaring their support. I fail to see his appeal. At. All.

I delayed writing this because I thought Walsh might do even more things to earn the imbecile label. And he did when he said abortion is never necessary for the life of the mother because modern medical advancements prevent all deaths/danger from pregnancy. Oh, Joe…I only hope your staff has been keeping you abreast of the medical people who came out to say you were wrong, as well as the number of bloggers who wrote heart-wrenching tales of losing their children because continuing the pregnancy was life threatening.

For some reason, Walsh needed to join the ranks of misogynistic Republicans who need to make their utter lack of reproductive knowledge known to all the world. He could have kept quiet. He could have hidden at least that part of his personality–that of woman-hater.

Interestingly, Walsh once supported abortion rights. Guess being someone who supports abortion gets less press than someone who comes right out and insults women. He should remember that women do get to vote.

But why worry about insulting women when he’s been so good at insulting all kinds of people. He actually got press coverage because he yelled during a meeting with constituents. I love that the headline calls his behavior a “meltdown.”

He insulted the Muslim community. Here’s what he said…

“One thing I’m sure of is that there are people in this country – there is a radical strain of Islam in this country -– it’s not just over there –- trying to kill Americans every week. It is a real threat, and it is a threat that is much more at home now than it was after 9/11,” Walsh said.

Walsh went on to claim that radical Islam had found its way into the Chicago suburbs, including some that he represents.

“It’s here. It’s in Elk Grove. It’s in Addison. It’s in Elgin. It’s here,” he said.

I’m pretty sure the towns mentioned (all surrounding my town, by the way) contain some of his constituents. There he goes winning over voters again!

He’s insulted Tammy Duckworth with comments about veterans. Apparently, veterans should never talk about their service to our country. Unfortunately, Duckworth, a double amputee from her time in service, wears her veteran status in full view.

Even President Obama isn’t immune from Walsh’s condescending insults. Walsh called the President “son” and wants to pat him on the head while telling him to go home because he was never ready to be president. Again, he’s demonstrating how well be plays with others, isn’t he.

Walsh himself isn’t immune to scandal. Last year, reports surfaced that he allegedly owed $100,000 in child support to his ex-wife. I don’t know what resolution was reached. But don’t people wonder how someone who would shaft his own children could be a responsible representative for them in Congress?!

I’ll end with my own personal favorite: Walsh’s interview with CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield. Please watch the video to get the full effect. Not a day goes by when the chorus of “Ashleigh, Ashleigh, Ashleigh” doesn’t ring through my brain. A commercial…a person’s name will fill me with the dreaded chanting. Joe Walsh behaves like a middle-school aged boy!

My only hope is that after tomorrow, Walsh will be gone from the political arena. We should take to the streets and have ticker tape parades for Tammy Duckworth if she wins. Just for sparing us from anymore of Walsh’s nonsense.

Go vote!

I found this video in an Upworthy email yesterday. I have found the best videos through them, but this one is the most special of all. It was done by Karen Walrond (aka @Chookooloonks) who wrote the book The Beauty of Different.

Watch it and know that you, my dear, are beautiful in every way!

 

Today is Jim’s birthday. I met him at his birthday party, married him a year later, and now here we are, sixteen birthdays later.

I’m the lucky one. I am married to the funniest, most sane man I’ve ever known. He works hard. Is sensible.

He makes me laugh harder than anyone else I know.

He’s been a dedicated dad. He’s coached baseball, soccer, basketball, and floor hockey. He’s been out there in the snow and the heat.

I thank God for him every day!

Happy Birthday, Jim!

 

 

Apparently politicians can’t get their stories straight. So there are “fact checkers” who go through every speech by every candidate and point out the places the speaker fudged the facts to make themselves and their party look better. Sometimes the fact checkers point out where a political candidate outright lies. Really? Politicians lie? Oh, and the really really lucky fact checkers got to check anything Michelle Bachman said for historical accuracy.

Why are politicians fudging the facts? Why do they say anything they can so they get elected? Because they have to damn much money to use for their campaigns!

Seriously, cut out corporate funding of politicians (sorry Target, I don’t want you in my uterus) and any money for campaigning will go for things that are true and that they need to say to get elected.

Better yet, let’s give each politician a campaign stipend. The amount of the stipend will be proportionate to the office being sought. That means the local politician interested in being my state representative gets a much smaller stipend than the people headed to Washington which is still much smaller that the stipend given to the people running for President.

No more millions. Let’s give Presidential candidates $5,000. That will cull all the bullshit we are being fed.

I want an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper with actual goals of a Presidential candidate. What do they actually stand for? How will they accomplish this?

Senators and representatives will get a much smaller stipend. And it’s reduced at re-election time if they didn’t actually follow through on what was promised. If they spent their time on Capitol Hill filibustering and not passing one god damned actual bill and not passing an actual budget, they are penalized.

This will allow the fact checkers to stay in business because they will need to grade each politician.

Think of the things that our country could do with the money that is wasted in political adds each election cycle. We could probably cure cancer with the money rich people and corporations pour into electing another puppet they can manipulate on Capitol Hill. Hey, AT&T keep your money out of politics and figure out how to get me more monthly bandwidth!

Yes, it’s simplistic. But that’s the beauty of this* system. There’s no room for fudging and lying. Get the facts straight or pay the price.

*I am totally stealing these ideas from conversations I have had with friends–namely Kelly and Jim.

Aaron is off to eighth grade today. And I am celebrating by running away with Kelly. OK, not running away exactly. We’re just going off on an adventure to a yarn store. Still, it will be sans son friend time that I have sorely missed over the summer.

We started the summer off with the goal of reducing TV time. Yes, we went two months with no TV during the day. I worked on computer stuff (this blogging stuff takes a lot of time!) and Aaron laid on the couch. Usually snoring.

In July Aaron went off to summer school for half the day. They called it summer school, but it was really more like camp. I mean, he went out to eat and went canoeing. But it kept him occupied for some of the summer.

Then came August. After totally annoying Jim and I one Sunday, I was left with a kid who was grounded into perpetuity, not allowed to breathe, and guaranteed to never see the light of day again. Yes, we probably overreacted. Still, Aaron stood there and in one hour repeated “can I go inside now?” at least a thousand times. I don’t even think I’m exaggerating that. It was a bad moment in Kline Land history.

It’s right around that time that I’m pretty sure Aaron became firmly entrenched in puberty. I could see the hormones surge through his body! I could see his brain click into overload mode. At first, I fought it. Then I grasped the philosophy that we will love the annoying out of the child.

It’s lots better here in Kline Land. But the TV’s been on for the past few weeks. Sure, you might think that means peace and quiet for me. Or you might think that I caved and let my principles fall through the cracks. But what it really means is that I hear, “look at this mom!” and “did you see this?!” I swear, I have the only child interested in commercials. Try explaining that most people avoid the commercials and it goes right over his head. So I really didn’t gain anything by allowing TV once again.

Bottom line…I’m so glad he’s going back to school. If only to have him entertained for nearly eight hours a day. I need a breather!