Marriage is one thing that can be a dismal experience or the most magical thing in the whole world. Depending on who you’re married to.
I was married before. Shocked?! It was a short-lived entity, barely lasting three years. And the last six months were spent separated. I have no idea what made it so terrible. I’m fairly certain I knew I was making a mistake as I walked down the aisle. But I felt obligated to get married because people came to town for it and we had spent a ton of money on it.
I can’t say my ex-husband was a bad man. He was a perfectly good man. I wish him well and hope he’s as happy as I am now.
Because being married to Jim is a terrific thing! It rarely feels bad and it never feels like a wrong thing. I knew from our first official date that being with Jim was the right thing.
There’s not a day we don’t laugh. We kiss hello and good-bye. We still hold hands. When Jim drives, he opens my car door for me. We never stop saying, “I love you.” And none of this seems forced or a farce. It’s genuine love and affection for each other.
Which makes me believe that there really has to be a chemistry between two people for them to get married. Chemistry isn’t just sex. It’s the feeling you get when you see your partner’s car or drive past their office or catch site of them across a room. It’s something in your stomach and it has a line straight to your heart.
Besides chemistry, a marriage needs dedication. It’s an understanding that getting mad at each other, possibly yelling and screaming, doesn’t mean you love each other any less. You’re just angry and it will pass. It’s knowing that no matter how much yelling and screaming there might be, no one is going anywhere. No one is going to walk away and end it.
My advice to those contemplating marriage: do you have any doubts at all? Because there is no room for doubt in a marriage. If there’s even an inkling of a doubt, take a step backwards and reconsider your decision to get married. If you do choose to marry, give it your whole heart and soul. Cherish your partner even when he’s annoying or grumpy. Make her feel loved as much as you can.
It’ll be the best ride of your life!