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I only made two resolutions this New Year, way back in January. One was an official declaration about being a nice driver–I even provided instructions necessary for me to accomplish this. The other was to stop watching reality television.
The driving resolution has been hard, but not impossible. Mostly, I remind myself that idiots exist among us as I drive and feel compassion for them. They cannot help themselves, those driving idiots. The know not what they do.
Surprisingly, not watching reality television has been easy. The hardest part is having to say, “Sorry, I didn’t see that show. I don’t watch reality television.” It is repeated more than I thought it would be.
At first, I was feeling a slight twinge. Envy? Remorse? It was a huge undertaking. I mean, swearing off reality television for an entire year? Seems impossible in our reality-ridden entertainment environment.
I did allow myself a small deviation: reality crime shows. I’ve seen shows on Investigation Discovery and caught a few episodes of Snapped. I chalk these up as research, since I like to kill people off in my writing.
However, avoiding reality television has been surprisingly freeing. And my contempt for all reality television has grown. There are Kardashians everywhere. And I still don’t know why they are famous. Being Bruce Jenner’s step-daughters? Having great boobs? I thought it might be their hair–but refuse to think weaves are that impressive.
Snooki was on the cover of Rolling Stone. She was humping a rocket and wearing a cow-girl outfit, I believe. Why is she famous? Because she lives in New Jersey and was once arrested for public drunkenness? Did you know she was invited to give a speech at Rutgers University?! Parents aren’t happy. The student group organizing the event don’t care. I thought those East Coast Ivy League schools were better than this.
Since I no longer engage in reality television, I can snort my contempt at you people who do. You who tune in weekly to catch the non-adventures of non-important people. You are the ones making these people famous. They aren’t going away until we all say no!
Where is Nancy Reagan when you need a great “Just Say No!” spokesperson? Maybe the young former First Lady Barbara Bush will do it. She can do PSAs and print ads. She can do interviews for magazines and pose for billboards. I might just email her after writing this post and recruit her for my Return to Sanity campaign.
When I hear the commercials for the Toni Braxton reality show, I think, “meh.” And wonder why she needs to lower herself to this level. I understand the needs of the non-famous, unknown people. They require a reality show to reach the masses and brainwash them into believing they are Someone. But Toni Braxton is famous. What’s her goal?
I’m certain I will not go back to watching reality television. I have no need for faux celebrities. I have no need for other people’s drama. I have my own reality show: My Life.