Last week I spent time with a support group for people who have lost their spouse through death. I’d been preparing for a year. When my friend, Sue, called and told me she thought I was the best cheerleader and she had told the organizers about me, I was flattered. She planted the seed of being a life coach that has been germinating all year. More about that some day.
For a year I’ve wondered what I would say. My presentation would be on Meaning & Purpose. I Googled that phrase and a million links came up. Seems lots of people have answers to the question that can’t be answered. And lots of them charge. None of them helped me.
I came up with my presentation. Here’s a copy of my notes. The moderator thought it was share-worthy, so I share it with you.
In the end, I was touched and moved by the very people I was there to support. Listening to their stories and their memories affected me in ways I could never imagine. They made me cry. They made me laugh. They made me cheer.
They all made me wish I could go back in time and fix everything for them. To be able to ease the pain they carry with them each and every day. Pain they have been carrying since the day the one they love died.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic wand to fix them. And I felt completely out of my element. I’ve worked with people in crisis before. I can deal with that. I am unprepared to face a crisis that segues into a lifestyle. Because there is no way to make the pain go away. It is there.
Like these things happen, I was changed by them. I listened, I consoled, I offered advice, I apologized for not having answers. Then I received the message I was being sent.
It really is the little things that matter in life.
Not one of these people would have their spouse back for a specific event. Not one of them needed them for the things they weren’t used to doing; they were adjusting to that.
They only wanted their partners back for just five more minutes of being together. Drinking coffee. Holding hands as they fell asleep. To share a funny moment.
My belief that the simple things are what matters was strengthened by meeting these people. I thanked them for that. It was the perfect message to receive in this season of giving gone amok.
Simple Is What Matters…