Ohmigod Will The Royal Baby Be Fat?!
Honest to goodness, that’s paraphrasing a headline I came across this weekend. Normally, I link to my inspiration, but not this time. The entire column was horrible for me because it was written by someone I normally enjoy. I thought he was a level-headed health adviser. Instead, he titled his column about the new obesity prediction tool to get reactions and readers.
If you haven’t heard, there is a new on-line tool that claims to accurately predict the chances of your newborn being overweight in the future. It takes into account a variety of information and spits out the results.
I used a height predictor with the twins when we adopted them. It was right on when it predicted that they would be 6’5″ tall. The only information I had at the time was their birth mom’s height, I guessed at the rest. So I’m not adverse to an on-line tool to predict things.
However, using the not-even-born Royal Baby to garner readers is just tacky. And downright abusive. Because now fat bullying has finally started while a person is still in utero.
I doubt the Prince and Princess have once sat down and had a conversation about the future obesity of their unborn child. Because there are other things on their minds. From recent headlines, I’m guessing the topic at hand is “how many times did you throw up today, dear?”
While the on-line tool I used to predict height for the twins was spot on, I have my doubts about one that could accurately predict anything else about them. One’s muscular and thinner, while the other is muscular and bigger. One’s talkative. One’s not. Same parents. Different outcomes.
I’ll even use myself as a reference. Eight kids from the same parents. I have very tall brothers and I am five feet tall. I’m the fattest. Some are thin.
There are many things that can be done to combat childhood obesity, none of which involves bullying. I’m wondering how the threat of future obesity will be handled. Pre-obesity bullying?! “Some day you are going to be fat so I will treat you cruelly in advance to prevent it!” Yup, that worked with me 100 pounds ago.
Do you restrict your infant’s food because you’re scared they will be obese? Ignore the need for whole milk and fats for brain development? I mean, we all know stupid is better than fat any day. Not!
Will Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers gift cards be requested on baby registries? Might as well be prepared for the future. Plus, these mega billion dollar corporations haven’t dipped their toes into the baby food market…yet. Yes, you can feed your baby the same chemical-laden foods that you eat from these companies. How’s that for maternal and paternal bonding? I mean, who needs fresh fruit and vegetables and meat and sugar when there’s a chemical created to imitate real food?!
I’m sure a NutriSystem pre-school is just around the bend too. Milk and cookies?! Never! Pre-packed, pre-digested food? Oh yes! Counting taught via calories! Learn the alphabet and the forbidden foods list at the same time! Boot camp play time!
Can we just agree to leave the kids out of The War Against Obesity? Especially the unborn ones?