Imbecile Alert: Radio Host Kevin Swanson: Baby-Filled Uterusus (Uteri?!)

I swore to myself that I would try to keep some of my political thoughts to myself in 2013. It should have been easy. It’s not a big election year. But the imbecile’s are still among us. Today we’re going to talk about Kevin Swanson, a radio host of a right-wing program, Generations Radio.

Apparently, Mr. Swanson failed biology. That’s understandable, because you do not have to understand science to talk. But I think you need science to graduate high school. You did when I graduated eons ago.

What I learned in biology about reproductive health is a woman has a monthly cycle for reproduction. There’s ovulation, which is the release of an egg. If the woman has sexual intercourse, the egg may or may not be fertilized, depending on several different factors. If the egg is fertilized, a baby may or may not result. If the egg is not fertilized, the woman has her period, which washes away all the lining of the uterus which would have aided in the creation of a baby. The unfertilized or unviable fertilization washes on out with the uterine lining. Voila, nothing is left in a healthy woman and the cycle starts all over again.

Now there are several different factors affecting different women in different ways. Sometimes fertilization occurs, but for whatever reasons the zygote (I might have this term wrong) cannot implant and there is no baby-to-be. Sometimes the uterine lining doesn’t wash out of the body and washes back into a woman’s internal organs, resulting in endometriosis. Sometimes the uterine lining doesn’t all wash out and builds up and a woman might require a D&C to get rid of the build up.

But what never ever ever happens is that any unfertilized or fertilized eggs get hung up in the uterus like bats in a cave. This is where Kevin Swanson is bat-shit crazy. Here’s what he has to say on the subject:

I’m beginning to get some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists that have done research on women’s wombs after they’ve gone through the surgery, and they’ve compared the wombs of women who were on the birth control pill to those who were not on the birth control pill. And they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. They’re just like dead babies. They’re on the inside of the womb. And these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.

See, he completely failed basic biology and sex education! Because using the birth control pill actually prevents fertilization of released eggs.

And my imagination has never been more fertile! (Get that great pun? Around here that’s known as a Jim joke, but this one is all mine!)

I was picturing Barbie and Ken dolls hanging around in my uterus. Just gripping onto whatever piece of the real estate they needed to remain connected to it. Sort of swinging there like monkeys soaring through the jungle via vines.

Then my sister Jamie told me she was picturing cabbage patch dolls lining her uterus. Which she may or may not still be in possession of. If she doesn’t still have it in her body, I wonder if someone saved it in a jar so we can actually look inside this uterus to see the dead babies awaiting…whatever.

Now I cannot help but picture the birth control pill zapped eggs as bats. They were featured in an episode of Infested I saw recently, so bats are in the forefront of my mind. The bats I’m seeing are hanging by their tiny bat feet in my uterus. I’m not sure what will make them rush out of there like bats in nature, but I’ll be watching for that to happen soon. Maybe it will happen when I have my next pap smear?!

I also cannot stop thinking about the sheer number of whatever might be hanging out in my uterus. Let’s get a little personal. I’ve probably spent around 10 years of my adult life on birth control pills. That’s 120 faux-fertilized eggs I have inside me. Imagine how many of these errant eggs are within the bodies of women who have been on the pill for decades! Yikes!

Seriously, no wonder our country has problems if the people sharing information are such morons. Did Swanson think about what was coming out of his mouth, or did he just spew it? Does he really believe this crap or is he using creative license?

Besides Swanson, who else listening to him believes the same things? That’s what scares me. Because these people are pushing policies that affect the rest of the country. They cannot be allowed a voice any longer.

PS Now I’m picturing the babies as kewpie dolls. Will this madness never end?!


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