Posts Tagged ‘stress’

Have you ever wondered what your breaking point is? Have you gotten to it more than once, but managed to pull yourself back? Are you teetering near it even now?

Because I think I’m getting pretty close to mine. See, since August it’s been one thing after another. Aaron trouble, Jermaine trouble, Jeremy mega-trouble. Now our big dog, Nikki, is very sick. And I think I’m close to the breaking point.

I don’t know what happens when I reach the breaking point. And I have no desire to find out. Because I don’t think it will be pretty. I see a lot of time in bed, a lot of Law & Order reruns, and not showering. Although, as I typed that, I was thinking it didn’t sound half bad.

I’m getting tired of being the chipper cheerleader. I’m tired of playing peacemaker. I’m tired of being karma’s punching bag.

Sunday afternoon I played cards with the ladies. These women are my family here. They make me laugh, make me snort, and I care about them. So spending the afternoon with them was heavenly. But then I had to come home…to attitude and bad moods. A dog who won’t eat his special food nor take his needed medicine.

Instead of screaming at the top of my lungs, I continue my Buddha Mom role and try to soothe all the grumpy beasts.

I know I’m not the only one stressed here. We are all.

Don’t picture me as June Cleaver smiling my way through the day, wearing my shirt dress, pearls, and pumps. I get grumpy. I get bitchy. But I never get to where I really could be.

Because I am the mom and I’m holding everything together here. I don’t think anyone appreciates my efforts. I don’t think anyone here recognizes how close I am to losing it completely.

If they did, they would cut out the sniping. And the attitudes. They’d stop doing the very things they know annoy the crap out of me (paper towels in the open trash cans that the dogs rip to shreds, crap all over the house, messy rooms, dirty bathrooms, dirty counter tops, arguing, bickering…) and give me a freaking break.

Re-reading the list there, I see that my annoyances are very petty. But they are annoying to me. Did you know that while big things can be stressful, it’s the every-day stresses that take the biggest toll in the long run? Actually, it’s how we handle the small stresses that matters.

I guess I’m not handling them very well. I need to re-center myself. I need to find a happy place.

I wish I had a clue where it was…